Category Archives: GiveMomBrownies

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Easy Edibles

I just renewed my medical marijuana card for the third year.  Before I  got my card, I never used marijuana, I thought it was for people who just wanted to get high and escape life.  You can definitely use it for that but the medicinal properties are amazing. It seriously is a catchall for what is bothering you.  Off the top of my head, I have used it to replace 3 different types of medication.  I use it to help me sleep at night.  I use it to help me if I have a really stressful or anxiety fueled day  and I use it to help me with pain. I really struggled with trying to decide to renew my card this year, it was almost $300! I thought I could try more vitamins for sleep.  I could meditate and exercise more for the anxiety. I could go back to taking pain reliever for any of my pain which honestly isn’t really bothering me that much right now.

However, I cannot forget about last year when I fell off a horse and nearly broke my hip. I had to use a walker for a week and I had a major hematoma that lasted for months and some pretty nasty nerve damage. How I didn’t break my hip is seriously beyond me.  I was able to get up and walk after a couple days and with massage, chiropractic and managing my pain with marijuana I was able to make a full recovery.  The thought of getting hurt again and not being able to use marijuana to manage my pain, scares me.  I do not want to take opioids such as Percocet to help with the pain.  You develop a tolerance quickly and it is easy to OD on.  You cannot OD on marijuana. If you do take too much it is like an all night drinking bender and the only thing you can do is wait for it to subside.  Most users don’t let that happen very often.

With all the benefits its hard to not renew.  What’s even harder is realizing how much money you spend on pot when you could be using that money to pay off some bills.  I have made edibles in the past but its hard to know how strong they will be. It is kind of scary cause you do not want to take too much cause you feel awful if you do but not taking enough can sometimes be just as bad if you really need it. The last time I was at the dispensary, I mentioned how expensive it was and how I wish I could make my own edibles. They suggested using shatter and mixing it in with butter and using that in recipe of brownies.  I was intrigued, could it really be that easy?

Being a newer user the marijuana subculture is terrifying! I try to do the research but one site will say one thing and another will completely disagree. I have never been one to listen to really anyone, so I do a bunch of reading and do my own thing.  I also like being exact cause again, OD’ing is not fun on marijuana and I try to avoid it.  I have found expensive machines that will help make your butter and other ones to test the potency.  Well I do not have the money for that, this is already a pretty expensive habit. My medication of choice are edibles and my favorite kind come in 15 gummies  at 15mg of THC each. I sometimes double up on bad days but usually not more or the world is spinning and I feel like that time I had 7 long island teas at a work holiday party except I cannot get sick in the bathroom and alleviate it, I just have to ride it out.  So making my own edibles is kind of scary.  But I did the research, which was not very consistent and I bought my first shatter from the dispensary.

Shatter is super concentrated dosing that is usually burned to consume. There are special tools and they call it dabbing, but  I am not familiar with it at all and you are free to research that more.  So I took my half gram of shatter and tried to figure out how much dosing I would get.  I found 1 g of shatter is about 1000 mg of THC but it is usually only 75%  THC so that is only bout 750 mg of actual THC and I had half that.  However, I have no idea how accurate any of that is cause the websites conflict more than my parents argue.

I chose gummies over brownies cause I do not need the extra calories from edibles. Plus brownies are delicious and it’s hard to only eat one. Being me and willing to live dangerously I found a recipe for gummies and wing’d it. I’m going to say I was pretty successful and it was super easy to do.

First, I bought some chocolate molds from my favorite hobby store.  I  had bought a few earlier on clearance cause I always planned to eventually make my own gummies.

Then I took a packet of 3oz jello, my favorite is strawberry and 1 packet of unflavored gelatin and I mixed those with 1/3 cup of cold water. I let those mix really well for about 10 minutes.

Here was the scary part, I put in my wax shatter I bought and stirred, it didn’t really mix and the recipe said to microwave for 30 seconds till the gelatin was well incorporated.  Well I did it till my wax shatter was no longer able to be seen.

Some websites say you need to do some form of Decarboxylation.  That word has become my least favorite phrase and I will eventually do all the research to fully understand that concept.  But I figured the microwave had to help with that a bit and if they had no effect, next time maybe I would try brownies which would force the process while it baked.

I did all this in a 2 cup measuring cup so I could easily pour straight into my mold.  Don’t Forget! You will want to oil your mold.  I used a paper towel with vegetable oil on it.  Even doing that, I had to dig the gummies out. I warmed up the mold a bit with warm water in a tray and they all came out in tact. It made 30 gummies of various sizes and I am not 100% sure on my dosage.  What I do know is they tasted pretty dang good and they gave me a nice relaxed feeling.  I definitely see myself doing this way more often because I can try different strains and really tailor these gummies to meet my needs.

Now if you are new to the edible life, that phrase may make you pause, wait they do different things?! Yep! Gummies you buy in store are usually hybrids of  different strains so it is hard to know the exact effects you will experience, which is why some users avoid them.  However, different strains of flower will give you different effects. Most know Indica versus Sativa, Indica is more relaxed where Sativa makes me want to clean my house.  But there is more than just that. Some will control appetite, others provide more creativity, while others will help with pain better or anxiety.  That is why  I think being able to make your own edibles and being educated on the effects is so important.  It’s not a one size fits all and we all have different needs and we need to find what works best for ourselves.

I spent less than $20 bucks on shatter and made 30 gummies that are at least 12.5 MG of THC, which is about where I was at when I tried them.  Normally I spend $40 bucks on 15 gummies at 15mg of THC.  I’m willing to play a little gummy roulette and save myself some major bucks.  I’d love to hear about your edible making experiences in the comments below!

Blueberries Everywhere!

There is nothing I love more than a good deal. Lately I have been focusing on fruits and vegetable.  I have really been paying  attention to the fruit in season and what is on sale. Basically if it is under a dollar I will figure out what to use it for. Recently I have been getting some major deals on blueberries and have been playing with different ways to cook with them. Well my favorite … Continue reading Blueberries Everywhere!
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Legalization of cannabis

I find it interesting that I have wrote a book about pot brownies, I have made numerous tweets in regards to marijuana and an occasional blog post that briefly references cannabis but I haven’t come out and really said my position on weed. Quite honestly I feel if everyone partook in the ganja at least once in awhile the world would be a better place. Now I know some of you may be thinking, wow … Continue reading Legalization of cannabis
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Home Cooking

My previous munchie post was well received and made me reminisce about the first things I ever cooked, especially when I was living on my own. My family did not make extravagant meals and we tended to stick to a few basics and rotated through. I rarely saw my mother use a recipe and there was definitely no Pinterest inspiring her to try new things. Regardless there were a few things my mother made that I couldn’t live without and still can’t. After I moved out, I’d start to crave something and ask my mom for the recipe. Those conversations went one of three ways. 

The first way was what a lot of people discover about some of their favorite baked goods, it’s on the back of the box. This is how this traumatic event played out for me. I had been craving chocolate chip cookies for awhile. I wanted to try something new and decided I was going to make chocolate chip cookies. I knew my family had a good homemade recipe for cookies. I called my mom and asked for my grandma’s cookie recipe. She replied back, “what cookie recipe?” I thought to myself, are you serious, what do you mean what recipe? I held in all my thoughts and replied simply, ” The chocolate chip cookie one. They always turn out perfect like store bought but I don’t want store bought, I want to make them fresh.” ” oh it’s on the back of the bag of chocolate chips. ” “No, the one where they come out just a little raised and gooey in the center.” ” Yeah it’s on the bag of chocolate chips.” I was crushed. I felt I was going to get some time honoured tradition where it’s handed down to the first born daughter in every family. I was in denial at first and figured my mom was just confused. I tried the recipe to prove her wrong. I was ready to call her as soon as they came out of the oven and tell her she’s wrong. They came out perfect. I figured they probably taste just like the store bought, nope they were just how I remembered them. I didn’t know if I was more upset that I felt like my family cookie recipe was a fraud or if I was annoyed my mom was right. However, I was able to move on and enjoy my cookies and forget about the betrayal. 

The second type of recipe I’d get from my mom was the, “a little of this.” Any true cook has those recipes where they just put a little of this and a little of that and know by smell, look and taste if they got it right. Well this is not a concept I enjoy. Frankly, it drives me insane. I’ve been cooking for awhile, I always use a recipe. That’s why it always turned out perfect, cause I followed directions. People always complimented my cooking, I said I just followed the recipe. 

Every holiday my mom made these amazing beans. We always brought them to events, they were always a hit and I loved them. I loved them cold, I loved them hot. I loved them in a pot, I loved them a lot.  One holiday I said, “you’ll have to give me the recipe some day.” Again I was thinking this was some guarded family secret, more guarded than the Bush baked beans recipe. She replied with of course and started rattling off ingredients. I stopped her and went and grabbed a pen. I said the ingredients I knew, she filed in the blanks. Then I asked, okay so how much of each?  She replied with bunches, one or two depending on size and a little of each of those. I looked at her like she was crazy. How on earth would I know how to duplicate the beans without exact measurements. I asked for further clarification, after a large amount of prying I finally got her to give me a few measurements to work with. However, after the first time I made them I never followed the recipe again. I did add a little more of that and a little less of that. Every time I make them they are a little different but no matter what they are always amazing. That recipe taught me to try it with other things I made.  Now my favorite thing to do is read reviews of what other people did when they made the item. I can always find great fixes and ways to improve a recipe. I also tend to change things up now and again depending on what I have handy. It’s always a blast to discover your experiment actually turns out. It always makes me feel like a real cook. Their best recipes are always memorized. 

Finally, on rare occasions when I ask my mom for a recipe she actually has to find it. Now those are the best recipes. Those are the ones handed down, have been tried over and over and are absolute perfection. They are always fairly simple recipes but they are by far the best recipes. One of my favorite things to eat was always banana bread. My grandma made the best banana bread. One day I had some bananas that were getting old, I thought I should make my grandma’s banana bread. I called my mom to ask for the recipe. I was waiting to be directed to the back of a package, or  told just a few random ingredients to make it but she shocked me. She couldn’t find it the last time she was going to make it. I called my grandma, she replied with she needed to look for it. I called my uncle, he kept track  of everything. He wasn’t sure what he did with it. I was shocked! No one knew where this treasured family recipe was and I wanted to make banana bread. As I was waiting for someone to call back with my recipe, my boyfriend decided that banana bread sounded good and used my bananas and made some. I was thrilled to come home to the smell of banana bread. I asked where he got the recipe since I was still on the hunt for mine. He replied that he used the one on the bag of flour. I thought to myself here are my dreams of a huge family secret recipe about to come crashing down. As I took my first bite, it wasn’t how I remembered it. It was good but not as good as grandma’s. 

After waiting and asking a lot, I finally got my recipe, Grandma’s banana bread. I talked it up a lot. I was worried it wouldn’t be as good as I remembered, but when I finally finished it and the whole house smelled like banana bread, I realized it was worth the wait. It was moist and soft and the perfect ratio of banana. It was absolutely amazing and better than I remembered. I was immediately transported back to when my grandma made her banana bread, I was so happy. Then I waited to see his reaction when he tried it. We’d grown up with different banana breads in our lives, we’d been trying other recipes, none that were my banana bread though. Would he feel the same or would we be a house divided that had to make two different banana breads. Luckily he loved it and we’ve always used the same recipe. So what better way than share my favorite family recipe. You may say it’s common or on the back of some box, but this will always be my grandma’s recipe, the one that took time to find. The one that no one else compares to. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, the recipe is located here:  

Grandma’s Banana Bread 

Also if I do make something and show pictures but don’t post a recipe, it’s more than likely because it looked way better than it tasted. I’m also not going to share recipes unless they are worth sharing. Every calorie consumed on food that doesn’t taste good, is a calorie wasted. I always want to enjoy my food and I do not eat anything because I need to eat. I have to enjoy it. Therefore, I’m never going to recommend any food unless it’s worth that extra gym time or pound. You can only eat so much and I love food and I am going to ensure everything I eat is worth it. 

Write more… Blog more… More… More… More……..

In life we are always faced with challenges and expectations. Sometimes these are things we just have to go through as a fact of life.  More often we do these things to ourselves. I am especially guilty of this. I always bite off more than I can chew. I am also seriously my worst critic. I look to others frequently for self-assurance but still assume they are hiding their true feelings from me. I have done this since school.  With every “A” I received on a paper, I always wondered was it truly good, or did it just meet the assignments expectations. I always wonder if there is more that is not being said and I will analyze and contemplate the hidden meaning, till it drives me completely crazy.

Now imagine all these self-doubts, and add in Twitter and users following and un-following you like it is nothing. Each added follower provides a new excitement and with the loss of a follower, I instantly wonder why and what I could do better. I am wondering if I am just boring my followers or do they just not like what I have to say. Also I see my statistics on my posts, and think wow, people have actually looked at them.  Then I immediately wonder, does each Hit mean someone read what I wrote or did they just glance at the page and move on.  I know I am guilty of this as well with others webpages.

In response to all these doubts and concerns, I have decided to control what I can,  I am going to work on making my writing the best it can be. As I am writing this I’m trying to figure out a good writing schedule. I am hoping that my followers are just getting bored with the lack of consistency and new information. My solution, figure out a way to keep it interesting and provide lots of new content.  I want a way to be able to maximize my time and I want to start and complete all my writing ideas. I have never been good at finishing any projects I start and  trust me I have probably a few years of work between crafts and writing. The idea seems kind of daunting at first glance.

However, I know the first step to writing, actually sit down and write. Well I’m not sitting down, I’m laying down (or sitting down days later to edit) and when I start to write, it’s easy.  All the thoughts and ideas that have been swimming around in my head finally have a voice and they just come out. I’ll re-read my writing and be surprised it was me who wrote it. I know I wrote it cause there is definitely no writing elves doing my work for me, as much as that would make my life so much easier. Oooo can I forgo the writing elves and just get a set of cleaning elves?  I think that could help me keep up with EVERYTHING that I expect myself to do.  I digress.

For the first time though, I feel I have really found that something I have been searching so long for.  I enjoy writing, I have lots of ideas, I think I’m doing a good job. I feel I have strong stories but with anything, especially in blog form there is a need to edit and polish. I will also be the first to say, I’m awful at grammar and I hope no one uses that against me, but I am trying hard. I am trying to be a writer, an editor, a publicist, a social media expert on top of everything else I am as a person, mainly a mom who needs to support her family.

This can’t be just a hobby, I need to figure out how to make it so I can earn money in order to be able to put the time in that I need to do, everything I want to do.  I was always told that  anything worth doing, is worth doing right and I want to be good at what I do.  I want others to enjoy reading my writing, as much as I enjoy writing it. In order to get others to be able to read my work, there is a whole other side of writing, which is to get others to be able to find it.  It’s hard to get things out there though, if you do not have anything for people to read. Such a circular argument, that would drive anyone crazy. So the point I’m trying to make is, why is it so hard for me to just write?

I think it is because this is not going to be just something else I give up on or don’t have time to do. I want writing  to be my life.  I want to be able to write various work s and have multiple projects going on.  I get distracted easily and I need things to keep my attention.  I do not want to get stuck in a little box where it is  assumed I can only be one thing, or write one genre. Instead of having multiple jobs, which I feel I am starting to collect, I want to have multiple projects that I am involved in. The idea that I could be working on multiple writing projects that I love and can equally divide my attention to,  would be a dream come true.  Can you imagine how easy it would be to work three jobs if you loved going to them and they paid equally? How great would it be if they were all just a little different, in order to keep you entertained but nothing ever felt like work. Instead of my current situation, one job that pays nothing, another that you enjoy but is a ton of work and one that pays the bills but you hate going to.   It is all just overwhelming.

I have found the one thing that makes sense and know it is what I want to be when I grow up, I have never felt that way about anything before.  I also know it is going to be my biggest and hardest challenge yet.  In order to deal with that, I just shut down. I feel like I spend my days trying to work myself up to writing. I’m surrounded by my daily responsibilities, taking my oldest to school, working the job that pays the bills, taking care of my family, taking care of the house and doing all those things that fall under being a mom and an adult. The one thing I want to do is write, but I feel it’s the hardest thing for me to take the time to do.

It isn’t an absence of things to do, I’m not even sure a lack of time accurately describes it. Let’s face it, if you want something you’ll make time for it no matter what. When I start to write, it consumes me and I loose track of time. That is definitely not a good thing when your life can be scheduled to the minute. I will feel like only minutes have passed but the day is gone before I know it.  That is probably the real issue.  I want to be able to just do nothing but focus on the writing.  I will have an hour to write, or I just want to post this Tweet really quick. Before I know it hours have passed or I haven’t finished what I started but I get interrupted and lose my train of thought.

I’m also everywhere with my thoughts and ideas and trying to get my writing and name out there. I enjoy promoting and researching and engaging in social media but that all takes away from the writing.  It feels more like a choice, do I have time to write or do I need to send this Post.  Maybe I need to submit my book to more publishers, locate more ways to get my name out there.  I’m always trying to do more. More tweets for attention. More blog posts for a better understanding of me. More writing to finish the ideas I have. I just keep expecting more and more from myself to the point where I get nothing done and avoid writing all together. Which is a problem when you only have a few hours here and there to accomplish anything.

In a world where it seems we expect more or others expect more from us, how do we find that balance? Currently I’m struggling with that. I’m opting for my favorite escape, into my mind and dreams where everything seems so much clearer later on. However, it tends to prevent me from doing what I set out to accomplish. How do we get from expectations to reality? That is going to be my biggest challenge moving forward. How do I make my instinct to be a good mom and the expectation to do everything to be a good adult, mix with my dreams of writing? Is there room for more in my life? I’m full of doubt and confusion while I’m seeing if I can figure it all out, and incorporate more into my life because I can always take on more. It will be interesting to see exactly how much more I can take on and make work. I am always up for the challenge and enjoy pushing myself.

I feel like I am starting to get a handle on all the social media requirements and expectations.  I have a Facebook page, it is linked to my Twitter account which I can easily make posts that link to Facebook.  The self doubt kicks in though, am I annoying my Facebook followers, what do Twitter followers want to see? These are all the questions I ask myself with every post, tweet and blog.  I have created FOUR websites! What was I thinking?! I spent the entire night getting them uniform and professional.  I also discovered a website to broadcast my stories to attract more readers.  It is really good, checkout
You can find me via Nichole Kay. However, all my current works are going to be displayed on my websites.  I will move them to that site when I feel they are ready.

With the challenge of all the expectations I have for myself, what others expect and just what I want to get done, there is one thing I never thought I would have to really face.  I struggle with an attention for detail.  Some will say that I have one, but if they ever really got to know me, they would realize I do not. I am more of get it out there, get it done and call it good.  However, I keep hearing,  ‘Anything worth doing, is worth doing right.’ I follow this well.  Any project I set out to do, I want it done well. I am not going to piece it together. I am going to make sure it is complete and how I want it. I will not notice if there are extra spaces or a return out of place.  I may miss some grammar errors or a lot.  At first glance it will be complete and visually appealing. With anything though, I can look at it over and over and see all the things that need to be corrected. Especially, when I look at anything through with a new set of eyes.

I discovered this while organizing my latest book.  My sister would look over my work. If something was not centered or one side had more space than the other she would notice.  I do not notice those things right away.  The only way I will notice things like that, if I am laying awake in bed.  Then I will see that the drywall tape on the ceiling is showing or that spot that needs a second coat of paint.  It is truly interesting what others will pick up on versus what we normally see.

Anyways, I just needed to voice my exhaustion of trying to keep everything straight, organized and stay productive.  I am excited to write and make things available.  To avoid ridicule, I will pace myself on posting things though. If you notice errors, it was only so I would have the ability to get it out sooner. Please judge nicely.  I hope others can relate to my rants.  Maybe soon I will be able to put it all together and provide some amazing epiphany on how to manage everything in life and be the best we can be. Till then, happy reading. I hope I can give you what you are looking for. I feel this may have been a little disjointed journey into my thoughts, I hope it wasn’t that confusing.